A year on.

Its been a funny few months, settling back into work and the usual routines of rushing around taking the children here, there and everywhere.  On one hand I've felt elated to be at this point, post treatment and finally back living a 'normal' life.  On the other hand, its been a bit of a mental challenge not to become overwhelmed processing all that's happened.  

I've quietly made it through the significant anniversaries of my diagnosis and first chemo day.  Part of me wanted to celebrate these things and relish in the fact its all in the past,  but thinking of these moments was tougher than I expected.  In some ways it was almost easier to deal with things at the time, the phrase 'You don't know how strong you are until being strong is your only choice' is so true.  When you are faced with an awful situation there is no choice but to pick yourself up and stride on, especially when there is a family life to maintain.  But, after the fact its almost difficult to comprehend what happened.  Its been recognised that some people actually experience post traumatic stress following cancer treatment, many people develop anxiety disorders or depression.  I have definitely experienced all of these things to some extent, luckily only mildly but I have friends who are really struggling post-treatment and it's something I'd like to draw awareness to.  During treatment you are surrounded by medical professionals taking care of your body and surrounded by the support and love of family and friends to take care of your mind.  After treatment it's a bit like the rug being pulled from under you. Surprisingly quickly life goes back to 'normal' and everyone assumes you are the same as you were before.  Someone has described it as a post war scene....the war is over and everyone's gone home but you are still left on the bloodied battle field picking up the pieces of your life.  

Most days it is necessary to draw on a real mental strength not to dwell on what you've been through or become overly anxious about your health.  It's also extremely common post treatment to have 'scares' health wise.  The threat of the cancer returning is like a bad smell you've just got to learn to put up with.  The worry is complicated by the uncertainty of what pains, swelling, cramps, breathing problems are due to damage from the treatment or side effects from ongoing medication.  

Almost a year to the day from my diagnosis I found myself back in the ultrasound department awaiting a scan on a lump in my 'good' breast.  Thankfully all was ok, but the experience was traumatic.  The fear is a real fear, not paranoid or hypochondriac hysteria, it is just reality.  I have a group of 16 amazing women who had chemo at the same time as me for Breast Cancer, I think just about all of us have now had additional scans for one thing or another, it seems to be all part of the post treatment life.  Believe me, its not because we miss being in a hospital!!!

So, it's been a turbulent few months.  I do have short bouts of exhaustion but overall I feel I have fared pretty well on that front and generally feel quite strong and back to normal energy levels.  I have enjoyed getting back to work, but it has been difficult getting used to the general business again.  Adrian and I have barely spoken to each other since August and so it was such a treat to go away last weekend for a special weekend break that was arranged for us by a wonderful charity, The Willow Trust.  I really can't begin to imagine what this year has been like for Adrian, he has had to hold it all together and maintain normality for the children.  He has reached and gone beyond the point of exhaustion.  The weekend gave us both the opportunity to be together and completely stress free, it was wonderful and much needed.  Yet another charity I will be fundraising for next year.

So now it's Christmas and I will be going to Scotland on Saturday for a week.....its been 18 months since I've been 'home', the longest period of time outside of Scotland in my life!  Last Christmas is a blur, I have vague memories of enjoying watching the girls play with my niece and nephew.  I mostly remember being extremely tired.  Everything tasted disappointingly of cardboard and chocolate tasted salty!  New Year was pretty much dominated by a week of no sleep due to extreme pain in my face, I remember that vividly, funnily enough!  Needless to say, this year will be very different.  I want to see and spend time with as many people as possible and I will be enjoying every little tasty morsel with my fully functioning taste buds!!!  I write this blog now more for myself than anyone else, it is my little bit of therapy, but if you are reading then I wish you a very Merry Christmas and health and happiness for the year to come. 

Instead of Christmas cards this year I have made a donation to Shine Cancer Support.

shine blog

This is a link to a blog post I wrote recently for Shine Cancer support

http://shinecancersupport.wordpress.com/2014/10/22/life-but-not-as-you-knew-it-no-way-back/

We made it.....what a walk!

We made it round the Island :-)  I walked a total of 50 miles but the rest of the amazing, amazing team walked 70 miles in total, about 11 hours of walking every day, some of it in the dark to make sure we finished in time.  It was a brilliant weekend full of lots of laughter and quite a lot of pain but all worth it, we hope to have raised £1000 for each of the 5 charities.  Here are the highlights of our epic walk around the Isle of Wight......

Walking the Wight

Well, tomorrow I am off to walk around the Isle of Wight!  I am joining a group of 9 others and we are walking the 69ish miles in three days to raise money for 5 charities, one of which is my choice…Shine.  Why would I do such a thing when I am only just starting to get my body and health back to some kind of ‘normal’?  Well, hopefully this blog will explain why I want to do this.

Firstly, I am doing it because I CAN.  I feel enormously lucky to be able to do this.  Back in January, three days after my penultimate chemo I hit a massive low point when I struggled to walk up a small hill from the car to the hospital for an appointment.  I felt nauseous, dizzy, just about every part of my body ached and my legs just felt like lead.  It took every ounce of concentration and determination I had just to place one foot in front of the other.  Being poisoned for three months had really taken its toll.  I really can’t even begin to describe how awful I felt, I struggle to think about it now and wonder just how I got through.  At the time it was just my reality and I went on with daily life with a stoic approach.

It will be a long time before I am clear of the effects of chemo (if ever) but the contrast between how I am now and January is just incredible.  During chemo I was often amazed at how the body is battered down and then bounces back.  In fact just a week after the day I’ve mentioned I was back teaching Tiny Talk classes and doing the school run.  But my poor body had little time to recover from chemo before it was put through two surgeries a week apart and then radiotherapy daily for a month.  The final effects of all treatment are long lasting.  I have nerve damage from chemo, swelling and pain from damage to tissue from radiotherapy and surgery, various aches and pains that could be put down to any of the above or the medication I am on to prevent cancer coming back or the fact I have been put into early menopause by chemo.  But despite all this I feel strong and healthy for the first time in almost a year.  The hardest part of the last year to come to terms with has been the fact I was in perfect health and probably the fittest I had been for years before my diagnosis.  Cancer did not make me ill, it’s the treatment that took me to the brink and back.  The treatment saved my life ultimately but it’s hard to appreciate that sometimes when all you can see is what it has taken away.  For me I will feel I have truly beaten cancer when I am fit and healthy again.  This walk is a step towards that day.

My second motivation for walking is to raise money for a charity that has given me so much support, comfort, advice and friendship.  Shine is a tiny charity in comparison to most, it was set up locally in Dorset but over the last year has grown and now has many networks across the country.  Shine brings younger adults with any cancer diagnosis together to provide a community that is just so important to all of us in it.  I went on the first Shine ‘Great Escape’ at the end of January and met some lovely people.  What I leaned from other peoples experiences over that weekend has really been invaluable to me, particularly moving on after treatment finished.  Shine also provides training workshops on topics relevant to younger Cancer patients such as returning to work.   With more funding Shine can grow and provide so much more targeted support to this under represented group within the ‘cancer world’.

So there are my reasons.   I also love walking and since having the girls we don’t get to do big long walks anymore.  So having three days kid free to walk is a bit of a luxury, though I may not feel like that by the end!!  When I committed to the walk I had optimistically hoped I would be a bit more back to full fitness by now.  On the insistence of my family and friends and because the last thing I want to do is injure my body which has been through so much I will not be attempting to walk the full 23 ish miles every day.  My plan is to walk at least the mornings and try for 12 miles each day.  If I can complete a total of 36 miles I will be delighted and be one more step on my way back to my life.

We, as a team, would love to raise as much money as possible for these charities which are of personal importance in one way or another to each of us.  I have a separate page for Shine donations, just because they were not registered with the other page.

This is the link for Shine

https://mydonate.bt.com/teams/wightwalkers

This is the link for the other charities which are Cancer Research UK, The Meningitis research Trust, The Childhood Eye Cancer Trust and Great Ormond Street Hospital.

http://m.virginmoneygiving.com/mt/uk.virginmoneygiving.com/fundraiser-web/fundraiser/showFundraiserProfilePage.action?userUrl=wightwalkers&isTeam=true&un_jtt_redirect 

If you would like to follow our progress around the Island you can on our team Facebook page here:

https://www.facebook.com/Wightwalkers

I'll see you on the other side......so lovely to say that for something nice this time and not for treatment :-)

Happy Holidays

We've returned from a wonderful 2 weeks on Black Pearl.  The girls were brilliant on the boat and apart from a few hairy moments in rough seas it was a very successful first big trip, can't wait for the next one.  Back to School and Pre School now and, for me, back to work in another 2 weeks!  I'm both nervous and excited at the prospect.

Health update.... I saw my surgeon yesterday to check out some swelling, pain and lumps and bumps that have been a worry for a few weeks.  I was reassured that it is all normal stuff from surgery and radiotherapy....damaged nerves and muscles.  Apparently when nerves start to re grow they can be painful and the damage done by radiotherapy can take up to 2 years to resolve, if ever.  I do wish they would tell you all the probable after effects from the start, it would save a lot of worry and waisted NHS time.

Of course on return from holiday I had a total of 4 NHS appointment letters!! One was just a reminder of an appointment I already knew about.  Two letters were about genetics investigations to make a diagnosis between Schwannomatosis and Neurofibromatosis 2.  I have an appointment next week to see someone at Poole Hospital to look for clinical indications of NF2. The final letter was a summary of the discussion at the Scull Base multidisciplinary team meeting in Southampton who have requested full imaging of my brain and spine to check for little mini schwanommas that may not have made themselves known yet!!!  I eagerly await that appointment letter to grace my door mat!  It is all incredibly tiresome dealing with this off the back of Breast Cancer and I'm sure it's equally tiresome to read about so I'll finish there and instead show you some photos from our lovely holiday.

A month of blissful summer sunshine and lots of good things, disrupted only slightly by far too many hospital appointments.

Apologies to anyone following this blog who I don't have regular contact with,  I assumed everyone has lost interest in my little story and therefore lost the drive to write anything.  However I realise I kind of left things hanging with my ear/ eye saga so felt I needed to fill that in.  I also think writing is pretty good therapy, I have found it to be so far.

So, first things first, I am feeling well, slightly tired, but really, really well considering everything.  We've had a wonderful summer so far and are looking forward to two weeks sailing the Cornish coast, we leave on Saturday.  Since last writing Adrian and I have been racing on a 40ft yacht courtesy of Sail for Cancer, it was a great day.  We've been camping in the Cotswolds and in Purbeck.  We had a big BBQ at our house to celebrate the end of treatment.  I've been on a 2 day retreat with others recovering from Cancer.  I've been to Birmingham to meet an amazing group of ladies who I have been in contact with online since the start of chemo, we all went through chemo at the same time and are all between 25 and 45.  They have been a great source of strength and support.  We've spent time with friends. We've spent a LOT of time watering all the vegetables we're growing but enjoyed the fruits of our labour.  Its been a busy, busy month but crammed full of all good stuff.

Unfortunately the good stuff has been slightly tainted by the constant reminder that although treatment is over, it's not the end.  Don't get me wrong, I am delighted to be through all the treatment, I'm looking forward to starting my TIny Talk classes again in September and settling into some form of 'normal' life again.  But the naive view I had at the beginning of all this, that it would be 9 months of hell and then all over and back to 'normal' is so far removed from reality its laughable in hindsight.  I realise this is the view most people who have not had cancer hold.....you get through treatment and if you are in the 'lucky' group you get to return to your life and LIVE.  If only it were so simple.  The drop of another NHS appointment letter through the door has become a bit like a slap in the face.  Each time my heart sinks....I open the letter, praying the appointment will be at a convenient time and I can get the children looked after.  It's been a sick joke this past month.  Some of this (in fact most of it) is due to my eye thing so I can't really blame cancer, but the point is, even if you could forget what you had been through, you can't because you have people prodding and poking you for years to come!  There is no more 'normal', not the way it was before.  I am finding a new normal, that will take time, and that is totally OK.  I feel I want to try to describe it so people can understand, don't say to someone who has had cancer 'you can forget about it all now and get back to normal'.....they might feel like punching you!!  That's not to say I feel sad or regretful that my 'normal' has been changed, in fact, quite the opposite, I can start to appreciate the positives the experience has given me.  But my life has been irreversibly changed in many big and many small ways and so, of course, I can never forget, nor would I want to.  However, I am delighted to be done with treatment and I feel strong, happy and dare I say, healthy!

The small fly in the ointment of the end of treatment is the fact that I am now embarking on a new health saga.  This is where most of you will be 'ok, enough's enough, you're better now...the end' and please, feel free to stop following my story now, I certainly wish I could! So, my ear lump, which was thought at the time of removal to be a cyst, was, in fact, a neuroma (nerve tumour), specifically a Schwannoma.  Wow, big surprise, not what I was expecting, especially as I have at least 5 more of these little beauties on my left ear, all very painful when touched.  The question everyone asks - is it cancerous?  No, its totally benign, phew, and unrelated to Breast Cancer, double phew!  Chances are though the thing behind my left eye is also a Schwannoma.  Having more than one of these very rare tumours is not something that happens by chance so I now have to go back to the neurologist to see how this effects how they might treat or monitor the one behind my eye.  With my vague memory of neuroscience/genetics from University, to me it seems likely I have some flaw in a gene somewhere controlling tumour supression - this would link the fact I have these neuromas as well as breast cancer at an early age.  I have seen a genetics person but I am not able to be tested for the BRCA gene mutation (these are two genes that have been identified in causing Breast cancer) as I have no family history.  However the person I saw did say it was likely my Breast Cancer was genetic in origin and my children would be screened from an early age.  She was more concerned about the Schwannoma situation.  Basically I either have 'Schwannomatosis' or Neurofibromatosis 2 (NT2), my pathology report from the ear will be looked at by a specialist team in Southampton and they will make a diagnosis.  It seems unlikely I have NT2 as I have no other symptoms of they defining tumour in NT2 which is an acoustic neuroma, but I guess I may have to have more MRI scans to rule this out.  I wait with baited breath for yet another NHS letter.  Neither diagnosis is particularly great but Schwannomatosis is the lesser of 2 evils as NT2 carries with it the risk of malignant tumours and more complicated brain tumours.  I know it all sounds a bit crazy off the back of a Breast Cancer diagnosis but I've had these nerve tumours for years with no problems, it's just unlucky co-incidence that they have come to light at the same time.  So that is where I am up to.  I now have to go to the eye hospital every 2 months to ensure my eye itself is not effected by the growth of the schwannoma behind my eye......yet more dreaded appointment letters!

So there, consider yourself updated!  I don't see the neurologist again until the end of September so I don't expect to hear anything else before then but I will update you if I do.  I don't intend to dwell on any of this too much, I have learnt by now not to worry about things you have no control over or make assumptions that my well be wrong.  For now I'm enjoying the rest of the summer and hope the dry, warm weather returns for our sailing adventure.

Ear surgery

So to celebrate not having to trek to hospital for radiotherapy, I trekked to an even more distant hospital for surgery to remove a lump from the back of my ear!  I know how to treat myself!

All is well, lump removed and will be analysed and I'll meet the surgeon next week to find out what it is.  He seems pretty sure it just looked like a cyst so not connected with my eye tumour.   Ahhh, the saga continues.  My ear was numb all day but hurts, a lot, now.

Tomorrow I will NOT go to a hospital, promise :-)

End of treatment

Wow....I'm here at last, just short of nine months since diagnosis and in an hour I'll be leaving for my final radiotherapy which marks the end of my active Breast Cancer treatment.  It's been a long, hard journey but I've made it through thanks to my family, wonderful friends, support from a whole village and my amazing husband and two special little people who ensured I got out of bed EVERY day even at the lowest points.

Here's a summary of the last nine months......

1 core biopsy
3 mammograms
3 ultrasounds
1 chest x-Ray
2x ECG
1 heart function scan
1 metal clip insertion
2 CT scans
2 MRI's 
3x FEC chemo
3x Docetaxel chemo
About 25 self injections for bone marrow stimulation
A LOT of drugs to counteract side effects
2x breast surgery
1x lymph node surgery
20 sessions of Radiotherapy
2 hospital admissions
1 A and E visit
At least 16 blood tests
Countless oncology and surgical consultant appointments


Lots and lots of love, tears and tantrums!

Only 3 left!

Unbelievably I only have three more treatments then I'm all done.  I have a follow up in about 8 weeks, then Oncology follow up in October and surgery follow up in April 2015, then just yearly after that.  Wow, almost 9 months since diagnosis and I'm at the end, a bit battered and bruised but I got here.  They call it the end of 'active' treatment in the cancer world as I will remain on hormone treatment (once I start it.....have been putting that off!) for at least 5 years, probably 10.  That is, so long as I tolerate it with no hideous side effects (ha, you know I'm bound to get some unusual, supposedly rare side effect!).  

I have heard from a lot of people about the crisis point you hit when treatment ends. Spending so long on a conveyor belt of treatment I guess it feels almost like falling off the end when it comes to a sudden stop.  Suddenly no one is making you 'better', I use that them loosely, and you're on your own.  Also treatment is a security blanket, going to be zapped every day means I can sleep safe in the knowledge that, for now, cancer would be having a tough time trying to grow in my body.  But I now need to adapt to living happily without being gripped by fear every time I feel an ache or pain, thinking cancer has returned.  This is difficult currently as I have an ache or pain in many places daily! But I'm hoping that just the knowledge that these feelings and worries are normal will somehow help to ease the transition into life after treatment.

Many people have asked me if I view things differently and have any positive things to take away from the whole cancer 'experience'.  The short answer is yes, but I'm not sure I can qualify or quantify them yet.  My life has undoubtedly changed, for a long time I resented that inevitable change but I'm now happy to embrace life just as it is and whatever may lie ahead.  I feel lucky that modern medicine can offer me a future but I'm very aware that the future can also be snatched away in a second so we have to live as happily as we can in the present.  This is often hard to do but I feel I am learning.

14 down, 6 to go

Only a week and a day left of Radiotherapy, I'm hesitant to say it but it has actually gone quite quickly and not been too traumatic.  It took about a week to get over the feeling of 'what on earth am I doing here, lying on a bed getting fried by a machine'.  Now I just go in, make small talk with the lovely radiotherapists while they draw on me and move me into position, then they leave and I think happy thoughts and it's all over, really quick.  The getting there and back is the long boring bit that I could do without but hey ho.

I've kept up running which I think has helped to keep my energy levels up and apart from struggling a little in the mornings I don't feel any adverse effects of RT in that way yet.  The skin effects however started to set in on Thursday and, as expected are getting worse daily.  Unfortunately this is set to worsen for up to two weeks after treatment before improving.  Currently its like mild sunburn, nothing too horrific.

Adrian and I have been away this weekend testing out the new rubber dinghy before attempting to lower small children off the yacht into it!!  We have had spectacular weather.

 

I did it!

I did it....ran 5K for the first time ever.  I am very proud of myself!

It was a fun event and very emotional to see so many people running in memory of friends and family affected by Cancer and raising over £200 000 for Cancer Research.  I know so many people, including myself, who have hope for the future because of the research progressing almost daily. Twenty years ago my prognosis would be much more bleak but I am lucky enough to be benefiting from the latest advances in Radiotherapy and Hormone therapy treatment.  I am also 'lucky' to have a cancer that has been so vastly researched resulting in the production of successful, targeted drug therapies.  Hopefully in another Twenty years nobody will die from Breast Cancer, and other, rarer, cancers will be much more treatable.  I hope for a Cancer free future for my Children and my Children's Children.

Here are some photos from today, if you would like to donate to Cancer Research UK, please use this link:
www.justgiving.com/smurftastic

 My running buddy Mandy and our crazy Smurf friend, we don't know her, really ;-)

 On the home stretch with our kiddies taking a break from playing on the beach to cheer us on!

  At the end feeling mighty proud of ourselves and already making plans for the 5K in under 30 mins next year or attempting the 10K.

Race For life

'Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass,
It's about learning to dance in the rain'

Thanks to Claire for my Fab T-shirt with these words on, I will be running tomorrow as my version of dancing in the rain.  I will be running in the Bournemouth 5K race for life (organised by cancer research UK)......yes people I am that mad!  I'm sure my Mother will have some comments to make about it which I shall hear when she comes to visit on Monday and I'm complaining about aches and pains ;-)

If you would like to sponsor me, you can do so via this link, I'm part of my friend Sarah's team 

http://www.justgiving.com/smurftastic

Neurology appointment

So today was the long awaited neurology appointment.  After testing various parts of my face with different implements the lovely doctor said he was convinced that I had a genuine neurological pain and didn't just have an aching face from being depressed.  I'm sorry but......*insert a range of choice swear words*....is that why this has taken so long and so much chasing up by me....they thought I was just depressed?!!!  The fact I have a one centimetre mass on part of my trigeminal nerve couldn't be the reason for my pain?  Anyway, let it go Jennifer!  So the story is the neurologist is quite convinced that it is a neuroma and it's not malignant.  However, the story is somewhat complicated by the fact that on the same side of my head I have small nodules on the back and inside of my ear.  I was due to have one removed analysed last December.  I had to cancel that surgery when I found out about the cancer and had to start chemo.  Because of the fact these nodules are on the same side as the nerve tumour behind my eye there is a suggestion of neurofibromitosis which is a condition you are born with.  I have no other clinical features of this but the neurologist would like to rule it our before any decisions about how to proceed are made.  So I'm booked in again with a surgeon at Salisbury hospital to have my ear operated on!!  You can't make this stuff up people!!  Surgery booked for July 1st, the day after I finish active treatment for Breast Cancer.   Ha ha ha, my life is crazy :-).  I've been mega healthy all my life, never even sniffed a hospital but I'm making up for it now.

I've had one trip to Poole today, now off to take Abi to ballet then back to Poole tonight for radiotherapy number 9 of 20....almost half way.  No horrible side effects as yet, skin holding up well and I'm combating fatigue by exercising.....more on that later.

X

RT week two

I'm starting my second week of Radiotherapy.  So far so good.  The staff at the hospital are lovely and so far appointments have run more or less on time so not a huge amount of waiting around.  I don't think I have any side effects as yet, my skin is fine, I've been applying the cream I was recommended daily.  I struggle in the morning to get up and get moving but doesn't everyone?!  The only negative aspect of Radiotherapy is the surreality (is that a real word, it should be!) of it.  Coming to terms with Cancer and what the treatment has done to me and my body is a long process. Going to hospital daily to lie on a hard bed with my arms in stirrups above my head and have X-rays blasted at me is kind of an 'in your face' reality check.  Having had a relatively long period between surgery and Radiotherapy has allowed me to start feeling myself again and this feels like a step backwards.  Its a daily mental torment, but my appointment times are all in the evening which means it is not ruining my whole day and I don't need to stress about who will have the children.  A positive slant on the whole things is I get to miss a whole month of the children's bedtimes (poor Adrian!).

Running is going well, next weekend is the Race for LIfe and I hope to run the 5K but I will see how I feel by the end of the week.

Friday is my Neurology appointment, I am grateful to finally be seeing someone who may have a clearer idea of what exactly I  have and what can be done about it.  At the same time I feel pissed off, quite frankly, at being at the start of something new just at the point I am coming to the end of treatment.  It seems a bit unfair!
 

So, I promised some holiday photos..... here they are, we had a great week and were lucky to have brilliant weather compared to most of the country.

The car all packed up to go!!!!  Literally packed to the roof and in every available space around the girls!

 Toasting marshmallows

 Morning tea at the lost gardens of Heligan, moments before Isla wet herself while crouching behind a bush playing hide and seek.....a long trek back to the car for Adrian to retrieve spare leggings!

The girls made rafts out of sticks and string

 The rope bridge...this was at the end.  Preceding this serene looking photo was Adrian and I trying to carry the bags, drinks and struggle with Isla who decided that the middle of the rope bridge (which could only take ten people at a time and so there was a long queue of people behind us) to have a mega meltdown because she wanted to take her shoes off!!!!  The bridge was swinging and it was difficult to walk across on your own without half carrying, half dragging a screaming three year old.

 Abi, very proud to have her very first mask and snorkle and determined to try it out in the sea.  She ran in with much gusto, only to scream and come straight back out again!

 Fun coastal walk, we did the same walk last year but I had Isla in the baby carrier on my back.  This year she did the whole thing herself :-)

 My gorgeous baby....butter wouldn't melt....but we know differently!

 Back in Plymouth at the boat - one evening it was just too beautiful not to take the boat out so we put the kids to bed and off we went, by the time we were back, both kids were fast asleep in their bunks!

RT number one....done

Radiotherapy....one down, 19 to go, I finish on 30th of June, I am really pleased it won't be going into July.  It was a painless and very quick experience, the majority of the time was taking measurements and lining me up.  The only discomfort was pins and needles in my hands from having my arms raised over my head the whole time.  The staff were lovely and very reassuring, I have my very own hospital robe to keep for the month!  Apparently the skin effects and the tiredness takes a couple of weeks to kick in and then peaks two weeks after finishing.  I feel exhausted tonight but that is more due to a week camping with the kids!  Talking of which, we had a lovely time, with very little rain (very lucky).  I will post some photos later this week when I unearth the camera from under the piles of laundry and camping paraphernalia that needs sorted out!

8 month hair journey

Countdown is on

I feel like I'm now on a countdown to radiotherapy.  A week on Monday I start, just the thought of it is a mental torture.  I know, physically, it's not going to be anywhere near as bad as chemo, or psychologically as bad as surgery but the daily 'treatment' is going to torture my spirit.  However, I feel strong and ready for it.

Today I ran over 2 miles.....it wasn't long ago that just walking 2 miles was my goal!  To my Mother who will say I'm overdoing it (and is usually right)..... today this is my moto I'm afraid.....

Running is my way to defeat tiredness, it may seem counter intuitive, but believe me, it works.

Adrian and I had a wonderful time in London thanks to the amazing charity, Ellie's Friends.  We stayed in a lovely hotel and went to see QI being filmed which was interesting and Stephen Fry was charming and funny.  We had posh afternoon tea at the Hilton, mooched around covent garden, walked across many parks, cycled around half of Hyde Park and were dumbstruck that a TV could cost £35000 in Harrods!

I had a phone call today...........a neurology appointment.....at last!  It's only taken five months!  Friday the 13th June ......luckily I'm not superstitious!