I've been physically and emotionally up and down over the past week. I am ecstatic to be finished chemo, literally every day I wake up and remember I am finished and feel so happy......silly really but it gives you a small idea how much I Totally HATED it. But I am finding it hard to accept that the effects do not vanish immediately. I am still very much in my last cycle and still dealing with pains, falling off nails, peeling skin and most annoyingly oedema. This will all gradually get better (except the nails which may get worse for a while) but I have to keep reminding myself that I'm no where near better, it's very frustrating. Even walking to take Abi to school and back is exhausting and it's only round the corner!
With the end of chemo comes a move on to the next stage. I have had a meeting with my surgeon and surgery will be going ahead on March 14th. I will write more tomorrow with details as I am too tired just now. I also have my eye 'lump' still hanging over me. I got to see the MRI scan with the big white blob behind my left eye. Apparently it's about 1cm. Nobody can make a diagnosis of what it might be, the scan has now been sent to Southampton for some neurology dudes to look at it. It's VERY unlikely to be a spread of breast cancer as its not a common place but it can't be completely ruled out at the moment. It's frustrating having to wait, especially as its still causing pain despite the amytriptaline.
Sorry to be all doom and gloom, it's really not how I feel most of the time. I'm really looking forward to feeling better and better each day and not having another poisoning looming over me. I am excited to be able to so a bit more exercise but very aware of the need to the it slowly. Most of all I am looking forward to spring, some warmer weather and all the plans I have for summer, I'm making a list, perhaps I'll post it. I have two more weeks of Tiny Talk classes then I'm taking a break until September.....so I have a very long summer of free time to look forward to :-)
You're having a frustrating time - not knowing is horrible. keep thinking of Black Pearl and all the fun you will have this summer. Let me know if you want a walk.
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed our pootle at the lake on Saturday, you did remarkably well to remember the moves especially as you haven't been able to practice. It's just like riding a bike... but colder and wetter...
ReplyDeleteWe are definitely going to race this summer and maybe you will come to choir to show Irene and I how it should be done.
You are in limbo at the moment but will gradually work through it all and start to feel better and more able to do the stuff you want to do.
I think you should post your list so we all know what a lovely summer you're going to have.
Hugs etc