T minus 1 day

It really feels like a countdown now, but I know already that Friday will probably be such an anticlimax.  At the moment it feels like on Friday I will become a different person, no longer be me, I know logically that that isn't true, but I can't help feeling it.  I was reminded today the importance of just having fun and how good it was to hang out with friends (you know who you are and all stories will remain confidential!!!!!!).

No doubt this whole thing will change me, but I don't really feel the need to be changed, so frustrating, for once in my life I am happy with being me.  While (or should it be whilst??, im sure my English teacher friends can correct me!) chatting to a close friend a few months ago, I was saying how happy I was, and how I had decided to live life in the moment, and seize every opportunity, how I had decided to step outside my comfort zone and do things I had always wanted to, like take singing lessons.  Adrian and I had decided, even though it was perhaps not financially the most sensible thing to do, to buy our new boat, because you only live once. We knew we would eventually get this boat so we thought, although it might stretch us, lets just do it now, while the kids are young, and enjoy it.  I didn't need cancer to teach me to live life to the full, I had already decided to  do that.  But, who knows, maybe there is another life lesson I am destined to learn.  I am always open to learning more.  However, I hope I don't change too much through this experience, because I kind of like me just the way I am.  Sorry if that sounds self conceited but that's just the way I feel.

Ps, I have just written this under the influence of a whole bottle of procecco so I reserve the right to deny anything just written!!  Also I will deny the fact that I dared drink alcohol 48 hours before chemo to any oncologist I may come in contact with!
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